A few of us were sitting around our mechanical engineering lab, discussing the Tau Manifesto when one my friends pulled out his iPhone and asked Siri to search the Manifesto. Once what he wanted popped up, he commanded Siri by saying "read it, bitch." We all laughed and then continued studying. A few minutes later, one of the guys came up to me and apologized "on behalf of his gender" about what had happened. I was so confused and was racing my brain trying to figure out what had happened that I would be upset about. He explained it was about the demeaning way my friend had spoken to Siri. I just shrugged it off and told him that’s exactly how I am.
It’s been a month since then. I have realized that as funny as it might be, I shouldn’t be saying things like that. And that it shouldn’t be a laughing matter. How I say I don’t like listening to my Google Maps Navigator because she is a women, or how I can’t work with other females. It’s wrong. The problem isn’t them. It’s me.
By describing women as whores, bitches and demeaning them because of their gender, I am setting an example for those around me, especially men. I am showing them that it is okay to treat women as such and show no respect to us. I am digging my own social grave.
Why should anyone have any respect for me, when I spend my day judging and criticizing everyone?
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.” One of the many wise words spoken by Ghandi.
And so, let it be. I can’t change the world, but I can change the way I see it and react towards it.
“Swear to God, I can’t stand to hear a woman claim that she thinks like a guy and hates women because they’re all catty. That’s misogyny. The very fact that you, as a woman, think differently than how a socially-stereotyped woman is supposed to think is proof that our gender “norms” are fucking us over. Women are not all alike. Some of us like football. Some of us like talking on the phone. Some of us like religion. Some of us are emotional. Some of us speak three languages. Some of us have boyfriends. Some of us have girlfriends. Some of us wear lipstick. Some of us don’t shave our pits. Some of us have kids. Some of us worry we’ll drop our best friend’s baby. Now please stop claiming that you don’t act like a woman. It doesn’t make you a special fucking snowflake. It makes you a perpetrator of misogyny.”—
Never has a movie felt so life altering. I don’t think there are words to describe the way my body feels. The movie was orchestrated beautifully and I can still feel it lingering on the tips of my fingers and toes. I feel short of breath. It cannot be explained better other than saying it was positively orgasmic.
And this is why I am and will be single. Why guys will come and go. Because there is probably only a handful that will understand and feel as invested in these two hours as I was. I felt my life disappear; And now, I feel completely intoxicated from the overflowing emotions and brokenhearted because I know life is not orchestrated. It will never be a beautiful waltz of exchanging words and emotions. And for that, my heart feels empty. Like something that wasn’t even there has been ripped out from my soul.
All because it was, and always will be, just a movie.
“What people don’t understand is when we say “Teach men not to rape,” we’re not talking about telling them not to jump out of the bushes in a ski mask and grab the nearest female. We’re talking about the way we teach boys that masculinity is measured by power over others, and that they aren’t men unless they “get some.” We’re talking about teaching men (and women) that it’s not okay to laugh at jokes about rape and abuse. We’re talking about telling men that a lack of “No” doesn’t mean “Yes,” that if a woman is too drunk to consent they shouldn’t touch her, that dating someone - or even being married to someone - does not mean automatic consent. We’re talking about teaching boys to pay attention to the girl they’re with, and if she looks uncomfortable to stop and ask if she’s okay, because sometimes girls don’t know how to say stop in a situation like that. We’re talking about how women have the right to change their mind. Even if she’s been saying yes all night, if she says no, that’s it. It’s over. That’s what we mean when we say “Teach men not to rape.”—