What’s wrong with me. Lately I’ve felt like the only reason I’ve never been in a real relationship is because I’m a commitment phobe. I look around and I see that people who have been in the same, sometimes even identical situations have things work out for them but as soon as I get close to a guy and it seems like it might go somewhere, it does the exact opposite. Do I push people away, or freak them out, or what? I hate being alone and the thought that I might never be in a relationship scares the shit out of me. I feel like I’m doing something wrong or having unrealistic expectations diluting my thoughts and blurring my vision as to what is in front of me. What is wrong with me that I always end up being alone again.
While walking around Neimen Marcus in my Mickey sweatshirt with my wetzel pretzel bites in hand, four models walk by, all dolled up. First reaction: feel guilty for having the balls to eat whatever I want and enjoying one of life’s precious gifts(food). Second one: feel the need to shove one of my sugery and unnecessary calorie-filled snack down their slender throats. Never have I seen an actual model walk by, so I knew they would be tall and thin but this, this is ridiculous. I hope they feel great making girls like me feel like crap next to them as they starve themselves just to earn money.